"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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