What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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kkkk

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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