Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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