Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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So, same time tomorrow then?

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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