If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops