Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops