Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops