One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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