What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Jovan

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

I'm hungry.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

What did the teacher do? He taught.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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