What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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24

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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