if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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