What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Asians.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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