Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops