Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops