Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +19

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops