A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call white trash Garbage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops