what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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A blind man watches TV

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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