Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops