Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

69

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...