why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -20

oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops