hi

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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