What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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