Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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mikey is cute

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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