what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops