Children + my basement + my finger = yes

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

Here's a joke for you, my life...

Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

flavin's head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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