Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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