Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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