What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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