How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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