A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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