What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops