why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

A midget walked under a bar.

I? Everett

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...