What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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