Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Please don't shoot me

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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