I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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How do you end a sentence

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Justin's life

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Stephen Hawking

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops