What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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