Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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you give like i give lomain

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops