A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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