What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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