What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Pickles

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops