Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops