Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops