What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +15

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i hate non minorities!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops