If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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Badabing.

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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