A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

white or wheat? wheat please.

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

silver bullet?

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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