What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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lets bomb africa

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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