A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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