Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...