What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

Grace Ackerson

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

#IHateHashtags

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

hey guys im gay

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...