What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops