What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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Massie is a fatass

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Tunechi

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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This statement is false.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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