What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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