Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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