How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

irish man drinking john smiths

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

Knock knock Whose there? 4

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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